Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Euro 2008 Fantasy Tw*tball

An alternative to the usual fantasy leagues and sweepstakes is Tw*tball. You pick a team of 11 players and points are scored as follows...

4pts - yellow card.
6pts - second yellow card, or third yellow card if Graham Poll is refereeing.
12pts - straight red card.
4pts - additional if any card received for diving, dissent, overcelebration, sarcastic applause, inappropriate clothing, fighting with officials, spectators or players on his own team, or similar.
20pts - if sent off after second yellow given immediately for protesting against the first yellow card.
4pts - subbed off in first 80 minutes without obvious injury.
10pts - sent on as a substitute and then subbed off again without obvious injury.
10pts - concedes penalty kick.
10pts - scores own goal.
10pts - wins penalty kick by diving or otherwise cheating.
10pts - wins free kick from which goal is scored by diving or otherwise cheating.
10pts - gets opposition player sent off (including second yellow card) by diving or otherwise cheating.
10pts - fails to score from penalty kick.
2pts - every goal conceded in game player appears in.
-4pts - player scores a goal.
-2pts - goalkeeper gets clean sheet.
-6pts - goalkeeper saves penalty.
10pts - team fails to win a game that they were leading by 2 or more goals.

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Tuesday, June 03, 2008

The Name's The Same

Pokémon, MewTwo and Adrian Mutu of Romania (and ex-Chelsea).
The question is... was Adrian Mutu...
- created by scientists through genetic manipulation involving repeated recombination, gene splicing, and other DNA experiments over many years.
- able to strike fear into its enemies with cold, glowing eyes.
- in order to always fight at full power, remain motionless to conserve energy.
Probably...

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Surreal Regis

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