Sunday, August 27, 2006


Congratulations to Phil and Anne who won customer of the week at Vertigo nightclub in Petersfield last week and also for getting engaged!

P.S. A philanthropist is someone who devotes their time, money or effort towards helping others, which seemed appropriate for these two.

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Saturday, August 26, 2006

Everyone's Friend

You may have never met him in person but he is still almost undoubtably your friend. He's been there from the beginning and no matter how bad you are there will always be one person who will stand by you and not be embarresed to be associated with you. He's not religious but his face is recognisable to millions of people world wide. Yes, its Tom from MySpace! Now maybe he wouldnt mind turning round and facing the right way for once.

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Sports Personality Of The Year

BBC Radio 5Live held a phone in on who would become the 2006 Sports Personality of the Year. Some listeners suggested that due to the poor performance and lack of big sporting events (except the football world cup, winter olympics and world rowing championships), no-one should be given the award.

My suggestions are:
- Monty Panesar (Cricket)
Cult hero, finger spinner, has a beard and took lots of wickets. I'll be happy if Monty gets it.

- Andrew Murray (Tennis)
British number 1, in world top 20, beat Federer, Roddick and Hewitt. Complains about everything (which is great) and pickled his hand to cure blisters.

- Steven Gerrard (Football)
Solely for his FA Cup final performance. Lets forget about the world cup tho he did score 2 goals.

- Nicole Cook (Cycling)
World number 1 and won the womens' version of the Tour de France. but a bit of a who?

- David Walliams (Sport Relief)
Swam the channel for charity, but I don't think he should win because its not a sport, people have done it before and not recieved so much recognition.

- Dean Macey (Athletics)
Now if you want a personality then this guy is it. Won the Commonwealth decathlon while injured. Just a shame he missed out on the Europeans.

Any other suggestions?

As for those who suggest the award goes to no-one, I take them back to 1997 when none other than grand slam runner-up, Greg Rusedski took the title and 1994 when Damon Hill was runner up in the world drivers championship.

Also it could be a lot worse. Malta's 3rd placed personality is Massimo Cremona, world Subbuteo champion. I hear the sound of the barrel being scraped.

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Thursday, August 24, 2006

We're Shrinking

Our solar system, i.e. the system of planets that fly round the big hot thing, has shrunk due to the unfortunate demise of the 9th planet, Pluto.

2,500 Astronomers at the International Astronomical Union in Prague voted to demote the 'Ice Planet' to a secondary category because failed its dominant orbit test.

It joins the elustrious and rather poetically named '2003 UB313' as a Dwarf Planet and although it is said to be dissapointed with the decision, it will continue to orbit the sun for the foreseeable future.

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Sunday, August 20, 2006

All Hail The King Of Poundland

In a rather bizzare investigation it turns out that shops such as Poundland and Furnitureland are in fact sovereign states with their own laws, leaders and language. Soon you will need a passport and in the case of Pet Food Kingdom, a visa, just to shop there. Theme parks are also following suit and announcing independency from the United Kingdom.

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Friday, August 18, 2006

An Apology

The Home Office have released a statement apologising for the early release of several known criminals who are a danger to society and they promise that after reviewing the process, next years Big Brother will have no evictions.

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Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Mice Pace

Also see my space.

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Saturday, August 12, 2006

"So You Don't Agree With My Decision Then..."

One way to stop footballers arguing with the referee is to do what they've done in athletics, and given the officials guns.

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Saturday, August 05, 2006

Another Weird Dream

Last night I dreamt I had just been appointed Newcastle manager and Alan Shearer wasn't happy with me talking to him about tactics. I'm not sure how healthy this is.

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Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Wettest Drought In History

It's official, after the rain this week and in July, 2006 has been declared UK's wettest drought in recorded history (according to the Met Office).

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