Are You A Pole Vaulter?

Bizarre Pole Vault Video
No I'm German but how did you know my names Walter?

I've Got A Job

I've got a job.
What is it?
I'm a meteorologist.
How's it going?
It's looking up.

I've got a job.
What is it?
I write for a weekly magazine.
How's it going?
It has its issues.

I've got a job.
What is it?
Manufacturing surfaces which shops use to serve customers.
How's it going?
It's a bit counter-productive.

I applied for a job.
What is it?
Working for Citroen
How did it go?
For some reason I had to send 2CVs.

I've got a new job.
What is it?
Clearing leaves.
Is it well paid?
I'm raking it in.

I've got a job.
What is it?
I bring insects in from across the border.
How's it going?
Its an important job.

I've got a job.
What is it?
I'm a binary encoder.
How's it going?
I get 10 day weekends

I've got a job.
What is it?
Swearing very rudely at people who ask me how its going.
Hows it going?
I'm not very good at it yet.

I've got a job.
What is it?
I'm a large, highly vascular lymphoid organ, lying in the human body below the diaphragm, serving to store blood, disintegrate old blood cells, filter foreign substances from the blood, and produce lymphocytes.
How's it going?
Spleen-did.

I've got a job.
What is it?
Doing magic tricks with 3 playing cards.
How's it going?
It's no big deal.

I've got a job.
What is it?
Growing Genetically Modified salad.
How's it going?
Great - I get a huge celery.

I've got a job.
What is it?
Driving for Williams F1 team.
How's it going?
Could be Wurz.

I've got a job.
What is it?
Training Medieval Jousters.
How's it going?
I have to work knights.

"Go And Have Some Fun, You Boring Lot"

Here are some highlights from my 11 days working with the 8-11’s programme at Spring Harvest. This probably wont make much sense unless you were there - I've tried to make it readable.

In no particular order.

1. When asked if they’d ever had a prayer answered, one kid in my group leaned over and said she hadn’t but I was able to say that when she and her friend had prayed for my shoulder (which I couldn’t move without it hurting) the day before, the pain went almost immediately. The next day she got a text from a friend we had prayed for and God had answered that prayer too.

2. A conversation with a fellow team member, Dave from Stafford, over dinner…

Me (feeling touched): This kid said I was her favourite leader ever!
Dave: Was this her first time at Spring Harvest though?
Me: Yeah, but she was in your group.

3. After finishing go-karting in which I had driven like a maniac for 15 minutes, a guy came up to me and said I needed to use my mirrors more. It turned out it was my old driving instructor, Adrian.

4. Licking my foot.

5. Beating a team of old men in the first round of the 5-a-side football competition.

6. Finding out that a team mate, Richard, is my spiritual son once removed and lived in my Dad’s house while at Uni.

7. The miscreant incident (ask me about this later).

8. Going to the Event Leadership Team hosted party with Zoë and Robert and talking about how there should be gunging in the big top with the MP for Bedfordshire North East, Alistair Burt.

9. Having breakfast with Zoë every day.

10. Playing a game of tough rugby through a pitch of a football game featuring Tim Vine.

11. The Steve Chalke virus (please note: this has nothing to do with UCCCF and this).