Jamaica?

While searching for an old e-mail containing a photo of a friend dressed as a shepherd in a pub I came across these beauties...

My wife's gone to the West Indies
Jamaica?
No, she went of her own accord.

My wife's gone to Northern Italy
Genoa?
I should think so, we've been married for 20 years.

My wife's had an accident on a volcano
Krakatoa?
No. She broke her leg.

My wife's gone mad in Venezuela
Caracas?
Yes, absolutely loopy.

My wife's gone to the botanical gardens.
Kew?
Yes, it was rather busy.

My wife's gone to Malawi
Lilongwe?
Yes, about 5000 miles.

My wife's gone on a singing tour of South Korea
Seoul?
No, R&B with a touch of Rock & Roll.

My wife went to a very bad concert in South East Asia
Singapore?
Terrible. And the rest of the band was even worse.

Finding The Source Of The World's Longest Zip

This part of the description of a very very funny comedy drama from BBC Radio 4:

Another Case Of Milton Jones

Tuesday's 6:30pm on 93.0FM

Definitely worth a listen.

I've Got A Job

I've got a job.
What is it?
I'm a meteorologist.
How's it going?
It's looking up.

I've got a job.
What is it?
I write for a weekly magazine.
How's it going?
It has its issues.

I've got a job.
What is it?
Manufacturing surfaces which shops use to serve customers.
How's it going?
It's a bit counter-productive.

I applied for a job.
What is it?
Working for Citroen
How did it go?
For some reason I had to send 2CVs.

I've got a new job.
What is it?
Clearing leaves.
Is it well paid?
I'm raking it in.

I've got a job.
What is it?
I bring insects in from across the border.
How's it going?
Its an important job.

I've got a job.
What is it?
I'm a binary encoder.
How's it going?
I get 10 day weekends

I've got a job.
What is it?
Swearing very rudely at people who ask me how its going.
Hows it going?
I'm not very good at it yet.

I've got a job.
What is it?
I'm a large, highly vascular lymphoid organ, lying in the human body below the diaphragm, serving to store blood, disintegrate old blood cells, filter foreign substances from the blood, and produce lymphocytes.
How's it going?
Spleen-did.

I've got a job.
What is it?
Doing magic tricks with 3 playing cards.
How's it going?
It's no big deal.

I've got a job.
What is it?
Growing Genetically Modified salad.
How's it going?
Great - I get a huge celery.

I've got a job.
What is it?
Driving for Williams F1 team.
How's it going?
Could be Wurz.

I've got a job.
What is it?
Training Medieval Jousters.
How's it going?
I have to work knights.

Hello Een

Were those kids doing trick or treat with sheets over their heads meant to be dressed as matrices?