Jamaica?

While searching for an old e-mail containing a photo of a friend dressed as a shepherd in a pub I came across these beauties...

My wife's gone to the West Indies
Jamaica?
No, she went of her own accord.

My wife's gone to Northern Italy
Genoa?
I should think so, we've been married for 20 years.

My wife's had an accident on a volcano
Krakatoa?
No. She broke her leg.

My wife's gone mad in Venezuela
Caracas?
Yes, absolutely loopy.

My wife's gone to the botanical gardens.
Kew?
Yes, it was rather busy.

My wife's gone to Malawi
Lilongwe?
Yes, about 5000 miles.

My wife's gone on a singing tour of South Korea
Seoul?
No, R&B with a touch of Rock & Roll.

My wife went to a very bad concert in South East Asia
Singapore?
Terrible. And the rest of the band was even worse.

Intriguing

Here are some pictures from the Facebook group Signs That Fascinate And Intrigue.

Do You Have Chills?

Man Flu

At lunch today I admitted to having a cold but when asked why I didn't go home I said there was nothing to do there. So they suggested...
- enjoy peace and tranquillity
- learn how to do up my house and then sell it by watching day time television
- make a collage out of pictures from the Argos catalogue
- spider solitaire
- write a will
- plan my funeral

Tasty

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