Dustin The Turkey

Oh I come from a nation,
What knows how to write a song,
Oh Europe where or where did it all go wrong?
Come on!

Irelande douze points!

Drag acts and bad acts and Terry Wogan’s wig
Mad acts and sad acts, it was Johnny Logan’s gig

Shake your feathers and pop your beak,
Shake 'em to the West and to the East,
Wave Euro hands and Euro feet,
Wiggle to the edge of the turkey beat.

Irelande douze points, (x3)
Do the funky beat.

G O B gobble B L E Yeah!

Hello Abba, hello Bono, hello Helsinki,
Ola Prague, hello sailor, c'est la vie,
Alvida sein Mama-Mia, and God Save the Queen,
Bonjoir Serbia, good day Austria,
You know what I mean?

Shake your feathers and pop your beak,
Shake 'em to the West and to the East,
Wave Euro hands and Euro feet,
Wiggle to the edge of the turkey beat.

Irelande douze points, (x3) (fart)
Irelande douze points, (x3)
Do the funky beat.
Come on!

Give us another chance,
We’re sorry for Riverdance,
Sure Flately he’s a Yank,
And the Danube flows through France,
Block voting, shock voting,
Give your 12 today,
You’re all invited to Dublin, Ireland,
And we’ll party the Shamrock way.

Irelande douze points, (x5)
Do the funky beat.
Come on!

Irelande douze points, (x2)

Eastern Europe we love you,
Do you like Irish stew?
Or goulash as it is to you?

Shake your feathers!

Listen Bulgaria we love you,
Belarus, Georgia, Montenegro,
Moldavia, Albania, Croatia,
Poland, Russia, Ukraine,
Macedonia, Love you Turkey,
Hungary, Estonia, Slovakia,
Armenia, Bosnia Herzegovina,
And don’t forget the Swiss!

Song For Europe

On Saturday the nation will decide who will represent the UK at this years Eurovision Song Contest (12 May).

There are 6 contenders and here's what they've had to say...

Justin Hawkins (from The Darkness)

"I think it's the biggest, most glamorous and possibly the most important music event there is"

Randy (Big Bruvaz)

"This is an opportunity for us to showcase UK hip-hop and R&B on a world scale. We're the first urban group to ever be asked to do this competition, so we consider that a privilege as well."

- How could he forget the very urban Love City Groove of 1995?

Brian Harvey (of East17 fame)

"It's the best song I've ever recorded ever - or could ever hope to record. It really is that good"

- What? Better than "Stay Another Day"? Or "Love, Let It Rain"? Or "Thunder"? No, surely not. (Incidently Brian has recovered from running himself over in his Mercedes-Benz.)

David Ducasse (Scooch)

"It's about time Eurovision had a pop act to go through for the UK,"

- 'Cos we all remember how good Gemeni were.

Cyndi (she's French)

"I really have faith in people, they will choose whatever song touches them the most."

– Of course they will dear!

The other contestant is Liz McClarnon (ex-Atomic Kitten), who hasn’t said anything too silly - yet.